Thursday, December 16, 2004


Every final exam I've ever taken has been a big deal at the time.
And whatever happened, life went on.
I take a final today, and the same will happen: life will go on. Somehow, maybe not the way I'd have chosen, but then again, who's steering this boat?
Clara's got a good point. Practically speaking, what's the sense of worrying?
And on a higher level, knowing that God is in control can take a whole lot of anxiety away, if we just remember that fact.
As my dear friend told me, "Study like it depends on you; pray like it depends on God."
If anyone else would care to pray for me, I would greatly appreciate it.
And in 5 years, Clara, maybe I'll be treating y'all in my PT clinic!

Wednesday, December 15, 2004

Non-commital Update

Yes, I did at one point (ok, several points) within the last year or so state emphatically that I would forevermore "stay away from military guys."
But there's always the exception that proves the rule. (How many Marine pilots own a Breviary, I mean, seriously?)
As per usual, my cross seems to be the distance between current states of residence (states meaning, Connecticut vs Washington STATE).
Dreaming on, ....

Tuesday, December 14, 2004

Understanding Providence

I am constantly reminded that God places people in my life for different reasons, not all of which I will ever know. But the more reasons I do know, the more grateful I am to Him.
It's the week of my final, but I'm still able to enjoy the company of friends--good people whom I've just come to know in the past few months through my dear friend, Sharon. Last night there was a Christmas party at one of the resturants, thrown for all their customers as a "thank you" for their patronage. Several people from the parish came; and I at least recognized most of them, thanks to the tireless introductions Frank and Sharon have consistently made these past months. It was a truly enjoyable time, just being there among good, kind people--listening to their stories, laughing with them, and then sincerely looking forward to seeing them again.
Yes, graduate school is difficult; and if I'm not supposed to continue, God will let me know. But at least I also know that there's more here for me than school. I have gained so much from all these people I've come to know, even though I've known them for a short time. Their generous kindness and warmth have given me comfort and encouragement I never thought I would encounter so far away from home. And if I'm not meant to continue here at school, whether after this semester or after another, I will never regret having been here.
Thank you, Lord, for the people you place in my path to make my way easier.

Thursday, December 09, 2004

My 11th son

I have come to love so many different names. This is because I like some names because of the beautiful sounds themselves, and others because of the people they have named in the past. For example, everyone who knows me wells is aware that my first son will be named Caleb, the stud who stood by Joshua in the Old Testament even after all the rest of the Israealites flaked out on him. By the time I get married, I'm going to need about 37 children, just so I can use all my "favorite" names!

New one today: Anthony. I really don't like the nickname "Tony," and even Anthony was on my secondary, or "middle name," list.

But the exam I was really worried about today? Mom told me she prayed to St. Anthony to help me "find the right answers." How appropriate, since that's literally what these multiple-choice exams require. (I never knew it could be so difficult to take an exam where it's 100 questions with the answers right in front of you.) I just looked at my grade: YESSSS!!
I realized, then, that St. Anthony is probably one of my most-invoked saints. I admit this is partially a reflection of my absentminded and ditzy tendencies. But seriously, if his intercession can find missing car keys, cell phones, airline itineraries, and important legal documents,* why shouldn't he be my patron for anything else? I mean, every prayer request is a "search" for something. I'm looking to "find" my way through graduate school, I pray for friends to "find" comfort in the midst of tragedy, I long to "find" my vocation, ...etc.

Today I finally came to the full realization that the name Anthony belongs to a very special saint. I don't know where I am in my list of names for my future children--I think around my 11th son. Even so, I might have to insert this one into my line-up directly after Caleb.

That's right, still second to Caleb. I mean, really; let's not get carried away.

*yes, personal experience, all of them.

Wednesday, December 08, 2004

My new Favorite Thing

Recently, I've become very good at going to bed early.

Tuesday, December 07, 2004

There have been countless times in my life where I've stood beside my sister.

I cannot remember the two years of my early life without her; she's always been next to me, as far as I can recall. We stood together during the rough times in elementary school, with the ups and downs of homeschool intensities. We stayed side-by-side in junior high, braving the parochial school after several years of homeschool. Our increasingly contrasting personalities made our alliance in junior high rocky, but we felt the need to maintain it, and did so even against our own inclinations. And when our family moved to the Philippines in our early teens, we had each other to cling to during the ensuing culture shock. Upon our return to the States, our friendship grew deeper, and we cultivated it further through daily prayer together during high school. I went away to college; we wrote letters. She came to college; we caught up with each other over the holidays. Then I left and we grew closer again.

There's been a pattern in our relationship: our love is most palpable when we go through the most difficult of seasons.

But it was my honor and joy to stand beside my sister on her wedding day in November: to love her without also shielding her from the attacks of outsiders, without ducking around our differences, without sobbing on her shoulder or holding her sobs in mine. ...With pure joy in her happiness and contentment in her peace. To say she was beautiful, to say she was radiant, to say she was in love, ...yes, all true... but what was most brilliant about her on her wedding day was her peacefulness.

As I stood beside her that day, I felt a different kind of closeness, as well as a new distance. We've bridged our distances in order to stand together in the past. This time, she built a bridge and crossed over it. And all I could do was thank God for her joy and His love made evident in the person of her new husband.

My God continue to bless you, my dear sister, and may we stand together again and again through this rugged journey of life.

Calling All Angels

If you see this, please pray for me...
I've got to do well on some big exams tomorrow and Thursday, which themselves are only preliminary to the final I have to do well on the following Friday.

What I Shall Have Decided To Do

I keep telling God, "If You want me here, You'll help me get through (this semester, these exams, this class, ...)"
So far, I'm still here.
Just now, I decided what I will do if I don't pass my finals these next few weeks: I will fill out an application to be an "inflight crew member" (aka: stewardess) on my favorite airline, JetBlue.
Despite my desire to be a physical therapist, it's kind of comforting to have a backup plan.

Thursday, December 02, 2004

Well, look at that

I find this result truly fascinating...

You surround yourself with art and music and are constantly driven to express yourself. You often daydream. You prefer honesty in your relationships and belive strongly in your personal morals.

Find out your color at Quiz Me!